Thursday, May 3, 2012

Seven Things I Don't Understand

Remember Angie Tempura, the snarky blogger character from Saturday Night Live who hates everything? She'd show up on Weekend Update and bitch about things that don't matter (when she wasn't doing data entry for Kaiser Permanente). She wasn't funny at all, and the actress who played her got fired after one season.

FCR9

Well, I'm about to pull an Angie Tempura. Bitch, please.

banner1

I understand I'm in the minority when it comes to Lord of the Rings, but the appeal escapes me. I remember reading the books in high school, but who remembers anything from high school? All I remember is that the two gym coaches were caught boning in the locker room my senior year. When I saw the The Fellowship of the Rings in theaters, I fell asleep halfway through and when I woke up Enya was warbling and the movie was ending.

I watched all three movies a couple years later, thinking I'd missed out on something great and excited to finally be in the loop, but 560 minutes later I was still as confused as ever. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the series is basically about a bunch of white divas with names like Aerwynénynrn and Elendireôelindryl who love to sing and who obsess over a piece of jewelry for the entire story, right?

  lordoftherings

Besides, the whole thing is totally unoriginal. They obviously stole dragons from Harry Potter, and Gollum was clearly based on Janice Dickinson, which is just plain rude.

(edit: I've been getting irate emails from people telling me the Lord of the Rings was written before Harry Potter. I know this. It's a joke. Calm down.)

banner2

Why don't people want to smell like themselves? People smell nice, most of the time. I remember several years ago when black pepper was really popular in perfume, and I remember thinking, "Who wants to smell like pepper? What's next, garlic salt? Mrs. Dash? Am I right, ladies? Is this thing on?"

I like the way wood smells, and I like the way spices smell, but I don't understand why people want to smell like cedar and sandalwood and peet moss.

  perfume

banner3

I was an art major in college. Shut up. I know already. I'd rent full seasons of shows on DVD and watch them while I painted, and after about three months I'd watched every show in existence. Except for the crime shows. I'd held off on the NCIS's and the CSI's, but I was desperate for something else to watch so I gave them a shot. After a few seasons of various series under my belt, they all started to blur together and I realized I was essentially watching the same episode over and over again.

Each episode essentially boils down to this: the cops/detective/agents spend about forty minutes grilling the obvious culprit, who maintains his innocence the whole time, and then in the final sixty seconds of the episode he admits to it, and all the people watching congratulate themselves on knowing the whole time.

I'm definitely not generalizing at all when I declare every episode of every crime show ever follows this pattern:

  crime1 crime2 crime3 crime4 crime5
banner4

Yogurt. Why. I'm sure I probably shouldn't have an opinion about yogurt, but it seems to be such a thing now. Commercials make it seem like such a treat. Jamie Lee Curtis keeps urging me to slurp it up. Is it even food? You can't really eat it, and it's not a liquid. It's essentially fruit flavored snot. People get so excited about yogurt and I can't fathom why.

  yogurt1 yogurt2

Man, it feels so good to get that off my chest. Yogurt has caused me so much inner turmoil. I feel so free now. I can finally live.

banner5

My female friends tell me I don't get Sex and the City because I'm a man. "You don't understand what we go through, Adam. Sex and the City speaks to us." Maybe they're right. Maybe I need a uterus to understand. In 2007 I watched the entire series at the urging of a ladyfriend, and sat through every episode with a straight face, completely baffled. To me, the series boiled down to a bunch of WASPy broads who meet for brunch and complain about their super-active sex lives.

  sexandthecity

Basically the show breaks down into several parts. Sex, the city, brunch, and shoes. I like all those things individually. I especially like shoes. My Amazon wishlist consists almost entirely of Nike Dunk High Tops in different colors. So shouldn't I like a show called Sex and the City (plus Brunch and Shoes)? 

zooey2

Zooey is adorable. She's like a creature from those Serendipity books. By and large she's pretty charming, but what's with the bangs? Zooey is approximately 70 percent bangs. It's like a hair shield. That thing is bulletproof. I can't help but wonder what that thicket of hair is covering up. What is Zooey hiding? My bet is either Klingon forehead ridges or a deformed Siamese twin face. Probably the latter.

zooey2

banner6

I generally don't eat in front of other people. It's not a pretty sight. When I go out to dinner with friends, I'm always the first to finish my meal. I inhale food, like a pelican choking down whole live fish. I also don't stop eating until all the food in sight is gone. I'm like a roomba, methodically inhaling anything and everything. Why would I want to do that in a party setting? 

F93Q

Plus, nobody my age ever throws successful dinner parties. It's almost always garlic bread and spaghetti, with a couple bottles of $7 wine to make the whole affair classy.

Other things I don't understand the appeal of: tapas, Sudoku, Halo, Downton Abbey.

And in an effort to balance things out, here's a short list of things I love: antler chandeliers, drag queens doing makeup tutorials on YouTube, potbelly pigs, and Banh Mi sandwiches. Also crime shows. I just started watching AMC's The Killing and it's already changing my mind about crime shows.

132 comments:

  1. Crime shows are great. You should watch law and order svu, ice t and munch otp, yo.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just had a post about things I don't understand too! THE INTERNET IS SUCH A SMALL PLACE! Anyone else out there that has some things that they dont understand? http://underwaterbreedingapparatus.blogspot.com/2012/03/list-of-things-i-dont-understand.html

    I'm a shameless whore.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And in an effort to balance things out, here's a short list of things I love: antler chandeliers, drag queens doing makeup tutorials on YouTube, potbelly pigs, and Banh Mi sandwiches. Also crime shows. I just started watching AMC's The Killing and it's already changing my mind about crime shows.

    I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE D:

    ReplyDelete
  4. I want an Adam Roomba. Right. Now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a uterus and I've never understood Sex and the City. It's literally four middle aged women sitting at a table discussing sex, shoes, men and their age. That's it. If I want to watch that, I go to my mom's place and have a dinner party with her friends. Not. Very. Exciting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers what they said they wanted, we'd have built a computer they'd have been happy with a year after we spoke to them - not something they'd want now.

      Delete
  6. Lord of the Rings is truly overrated. I've only seen the 1st one and can't even recall any part of the movie except for fireworks going off in the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Downton Abbey is regurgitated Upstairs Downstairs. And is wank. I have to agree with every one of these. I tried so hard to like Lord of The Rings but, no. And a uterus does not help with Sex and The City. I don't want to hear what your cervix has been up to this week thankyou, and grasping to their youth like a bulldog on the leg of a roast lamb just makes me feel pity.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well I don't understand why you did the heading/title thing for #6 differently than all the others. And I think you mean sight, not site... great, now I'm that douchebag...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Janice Dickenson = Gollum. I think I will make that my new happy thought.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Personally, I think it's rather stupid that people in the comments keep telling you "OOOOOOH GO WATCH IT AGAIN ITS AWEZOME" or " YOUR JUS NOT SMART ENUFF 2 LIKE ITTTTT". If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. End of story. I thought this post was very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't mean to be a bitch for pointing this out but,

    "I also don't stop eating until all the food in site is gone."

    shouldn't the word be 'sight'?

    ReplyDelete
  12. In general, I agree about crime shows, however....veronica mars will change your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Uh, Adam. What's that thing with your face crawling on the table supposed to be?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Not. Alone. I simply cannot talk and eat at the same time, and food is WAAAYY more important.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hahaha watching drag queens doing make up tutorials on you tube, CANNOT BEAT IT.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've stared at the roomba .gif for so long that I'm actually hearing vacuum cleaner noises in my head now. Thank you. :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. I lost it at Zooey's Egor face twin.

    Well played, Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I want Adam accessories for my Roomba now.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I used to work cutting boughs for Christmas ornamentations. I would occasionally stop at the local wartering hole,and have many men asking what I was wearing, and sniffing me.. WoW.
    Years later I had a custom perfume made that had pine in it. Same thing happened. Maybe it reminded them of Pinesol?
    I don't use any perfume anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm gonna ignore your first annoyance, because I think Lord of the Rings is the best thing invented since raspberry chocolate chip ice cream. (PS LotR was written 70 yrs ago) The yogurt thing? Completely understandable. The best thing was swirling the red and blue sides of Trix to make purple then giving the rest of it to that poor rabbit.

    ReplyDelete
  21. God Legolas, stop trying to make fetch happen.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Could not agree more on the Sex In The City thing. I don't buy the Estrogen Connection (i.e. you have to have a vagina to really Understand the show.) To me it's a lot like (yeah, ok, I'm just gonna say it) Seinfeld. Never liked the show because it was a bunch of seriously unlikable people being seriously unlikable and acting like assholes. Ah. I feel better. Now I'm gonna go rewatch Sherlock and drool over Benedict Cumerbatch.

    ReplyDelete
  23. But, the Roomba is not methodical!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't really get lord the rings either. I understand that it was a genre changing series, but I just can't get into it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yogurt bothers me to no end. I don't get it.
    http://www.americangypsygirl.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yeah, I don't get the big deal with those things, either. As a chick, I'm apparently supposed to love at least half of them, but I hate yogurt, think Sex in the City is boring and cheesy, also fell asleep during LOTR, and can't distinguish one crime show from another. Hm, except I started watching Law & Order SVU, and Chris Meloni's abs kept pulling me back in.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hah! I'm an art student and I do the same watching-entire-series-while-I-paint thing. Right now I'm watching Law and Order SVU, and you're missing out

    ReplyDelete
  28. Don't watch The Killing! You'll just end up angry. TRUST ME.
    I'll give you a hint (and I will be this bitch): you don't get to find out who did it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. That is exactly what Sex and the City is about. I am a girl and the appeal of Sex and the City baffles me.

    ReplyDelete
  30. ESPECIALLY shoes?? Are you being facetious and I missed it?

    ReplyDelete
  31. only thing i will agree to disagree on is the sex and the city part. other than that, yogurt is weird and it always looks old. perfume is gross. it's all about the body spray. and lotr blows my mind in the worst way. hate it.

    http://challengedromantic.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  32. My mom and sister LOVE Downton Abbey. I don't get it. To me it's just any other drama show ever, with British actors.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sex and the city? Halo? LOTR? Super oldschool yo!

    ReplyDelete
  34. um. i have a uterus and i do not understand the appeal of sex and the city. also i was an art major and now i'm pretty sure we're kindred spirits.

    ReplyDelete
  35. How can LotR copy off of Harry Potter when LotR came first? -.-

    ReplyDelete
  36. How can LotR copy off of Harry Potter when LotR came first? -.-

    ReplyDelete
  37. I agree with most of this.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I suppose the thing about Lord of The Rings is that if you like it, you read all the books and then watch the movies and completely get it and like it. So it's different than just being able to watch them and decide. But hey, all that is not for everyone. I loved them, but the books did get pretty tedious sometimes, so although I like them, I definitely have to agree with you on some of that!

    Also, yogurt. Yes. Ew.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Sudokus are awesome. And LotR has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter. But you're funny so I'll let it slide.... For now.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I love the Killing and Downton Abbey. Unfortunately I missed the 5th episode of the Killing and I can't find it online and I'm really behind.

    ReplyDelete
  41. The Adam- Roomba is one of the greatest things you've ever drawn. I cannot stop staring at it; it is cracking me the hell up!! Also, I think Sex and the City is the dumbest show ever. I am a woman and 99% of my female friends just loooooove it. I tried, I did. But it is truly idiotic. And yogurt is for babies.

    ReplyDelete
  42. adam, you are my best friend........

    you don't even know it......lmao...

    ReplyDelete
  43. I like watching drag queens doing make up tutorials on youtube too.. I also enjoy watching guys shaving their head on youtube...

    ReplyDelete
  44. what annoys me about Zooey on New Girl, as well as her fringe (bangs in Ireland), is there is never any glass in her eye glasses.
    if your going to make a character wear GIANT glasses to make them look geeky and kooky at least put some flat glass in them to make it a bit believable.
    psssst costume people we can totally tell theres nothing there.

    ReplyDelete
  45. OMFG I adore drag queens doing makeup tutorials on youtube! Have you seen Michael James? http://www.youtube.com/user/xxmichaeljames

    He's not exactly a drag queen, more androgynous, but he's also British and sassy which I find ever so amusing.

    PS. Sorry that all of your friends apparently suck at cooking for other people. Who serves their guest spaghetti?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Am... Am I the only one who automatically started calling you a Food-ba in my head?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Good Crime shows:
    Homicide -- It is a police procedural but instead of being terrible it is the opposite of that.
    Sherlock -- Not about solving crimes. About having adventures that lead to crimes being solved.
    The Shield -- A cop show where the cops are terrible people who keep digging themselves into deeper and deeper trouble. Dark has never been so fun.
    The Wire -- Probably the best tv show ever.
    Twin Peaks The First Season -- There has never been a tv show like this and there never will be again. Smart and weird and creepy and funny and stop watching as soon as they find out who the killer is because it immediately becomes completely terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  48. You and I think alike good sir.

    ReplyDelete
  49. You know what bugs me? HD images of pollen under a miscroscope. Google it, it's creepy as heck. It shouldn't bug me but I always shudder when I see a pic in one of my science textbooks.

    Also, about drag queens. You should watch RuPaul's Drag Race on Netflix. When I first saw it I couldn't tell that they were men. If you like drag queens on YouTube I think you'll like this.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Adam my dear, your humor is fabulous. Please post more often. See you in my dreams..
    p.s. Whats up with all these people who can't get a joke?!

    ReplyDelete
  51. mate i really have to agree with the sex and the city one. i have a uterus but honestly that show is about old women having sex. cannot understand why people would voluntarily watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I just found your blog from Oh Noa's blog. Got to say, I love your humor and cartoons. This shit is genius. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Saw you made a post and squealed in delight.

    I too have never enjoyed the LoTR franchise. The movie was boring (just a load of fight scenes, and not very good ones at that), and I don't think I have the energy to tackle the books.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I.... I don't think I like you anymore.. and this makes me really sad. :(

    ReplyDelete
  55. You like crime shows?

    Grimm. Watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  56. POTBELLEY. PIGS. ...must keep breathing. Also mini pigs and antler chandeliers anything with antlers. I used to love CSI Miami but now it is all the same to me.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Concerning not understanding uteruses (uteri?), my friend wrote about how women should give birth-- once he found out that most women poop themselves during birth and excrete so much stuff other than a child.

    I think you'd get a kick out of it, and you should do a blog about it because your drawings would be awesome.

    http://a-musing-story.blogspot.com/2011/09/opinions-how-i-think-babies-should-be.html

    ReplyDelete
  58. We're kindred spirits, you and I. Thank you for calling down yogurt, when no one else is brave enough to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Not only do the cop shows have the exact same plot, on SUV (insert oddly specific task force name here) the smaller characters seem to remember some of the minutest detail about a victim, assailant or crime it's ri-donkey-lous.
    Detective: "Did you see anything out of the ordinary sir?"
    Bartender: "I don't know if it would be considered 'out of the ordinary' but the guy she was with had a dwarf clown tattoo on his right inner thigh. I noticed it when we were both in the bathroom and he dropped his wallet when he was changing clothes because of the blood on his pants."
    Really?

    ReplyDelete
  60. I've just discovered The Killing too...it's such a great show!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Some random thoughts. First, I also found you via Oh Noa. She did not steer me wrong, you're a hoot. Second, it's too bad some of your readers don't get you and multiples felt the need to point out to you that LotR came 70 yrs. before Harry Potter. Duh. Last, I own a uterus and I've always hated Sex and the City--inane, horrible, poorly acted crap.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Your friend is wrong about S&TC. I mean, I can vacantly stare at it for 45 minutes to pass some time and register some faint enjoyment, but it definitely does NOT speak to me - none of my female friends feel it represents us at all, in fact, it actually bothers us that we're supposed to relate to those self-absorbed, over-privileged moan-bags.
    However, I'm pretty disturbed to see the commenters on here who feel the same about it referring to the characters as 'old' and 'middle-aged'. When the series starts, they're in their early thirties. They're not even forty in the last episode, except for Samantha.

    ReplyDelete
  63. It's okay - I don't get Sex and the City either. And I'm a woman.

    Also, you made me really want to Youtube drag queen makeup tutorials, but I should probably be studying for my finals.

    But I will come back to those drag queens, you have my word.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I am going to agree with you on everything except perfume. If you think people smell nice, you are smelling someone who is wearing perfume.

    ReplyDelete
  65. So basically, it seems we can all agree that SVU is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Awake is pretty cool, for a crime show, too. Which world is real?!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Ok, I don't usually comment but feel compelled to do so tonight. Im female-hate yogurt. Especially Chobani. It's like cottage cheese which I also hate. LOTR ladies, Viggo Mortensen. Really hot. And the first time you see Gollum he's like scary as shIt! Totally agree with you on crime shows, they all follow the same pattern, and the SVU one is always about kids/women getting raped/abused/killed. Gee that's fun to watch. What made me laugh the most though, was the roomba. Never get a roomba! I was told a horrible story at work which is always front and center whenever I hear the word roomba.Couple living together, no kids so they have all that white carpeting....and a puppy...and then they get a roomba. Puppy somehow gets into living room and poops on carpet and the roomba decides to come around (apparently you can program these things?) and just treads right through the doggy poo. Yeah. And because the machine "sensed" (?) a dirty carpet, it kept going and going and going....just say NO to the roomba! Oh yeah Sex and the City is lame and so old.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yay I'm a garborator too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  69. http://www.hairstyleagain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Zooey-Deschanel-hairstyle-trend1.jpg Zooey is perfectly normal. Her hipster bangs hide nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  70. You win the internet for comparing Zooey to a Serendipity character. I've lived my whole life thinking my family was the only one of the face of the earth that owned those books.

    ReplyDelete
  71. LOTR is good, but I hated it when I first saw it.
    I HATE yogurt. So nasty. I could go on and on about it. I've tried so many times to find it enjoyable, mixing it with fruits and nuts. No cigar.
    Hate Sex and the City, and I also am usually the first one to finish my meal. It would be my dream to win an eating contest (is that bad?)
    However, I have Zooey bangs. My forehead is smaller though. Also, Law and Order:SVU is probably the best crime show. I also like Psych- I cry laughing, but I'm also kind of immature. :P

    Wow.. that was long. I ramble. Sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  72. You should also look into the show Psych, it's pretty funny. It still has the, there's a body, there's a killer, and we find em...but the other stuff is really, really funny.

    ReplyDelete
  73. You'll understand the appeal of tapas when you go to Spain... mostly because they're totally delicious and totally free, unlike in America, where you have to pay loads of money to eat them. So backwards.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Adam, you have probably already seen them but check it!
    http://www.upscalehype.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/080317_indulgencesno5_539.jpg
    p.s i to also have NHTA(Nike High tops addiction.)

    ReplyDelete
  75. FINALLY someone else who doesn't understand yogurt. I feel like there's a cosmic joke we're missing out on

    ReplyDelete
  76. re: Yogurt - YES!!! What the douce is with the preorgasmic ladies eating yogurt in commercials? So glad I'm not the only one baffled by the seemingly magical qualities of yogurt. I'd get their reactions if they were eating say, gold leafed unicorn steak but they're not. It's yogurt.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I think we might be soul mates. Except for Sex and the City. HOW DARE YOU???

    ReplyDelete
  78. I agree with everything on this list (except that Zooey is charming/adorable. She is not). I have a uterus and do not understand Sex and the City. I'm pretty sure no women have ever talked like that in the history of ever.
    I like your list of loves. Especially drag queens doing their makeup. Those bitches show everybody what good makeup is. XD

    ReplyDelete
  79. Hate
    1. Jack Hannah (is that relevant anymore?)
    2. How I Met your Mother (I'm missing the "funny" part?)
    LOVE
    1. Day Drinking (aaah, so much better drinking in your back yard in the sun! makes me feel like a golden retriever)
    2. Videos of corgis jumping off ANYTHING

    ReplyDelete
  80. have you been to the new banh mi place downtown? Its on like... 6th & salmon. its called i banh mi. super cheap.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Ewwwww. I hate yoghurt

    ReplyDelete
  82. Watch BBC Sherlock!

    ReplyDelete
  83. you should watch the mentalist. the main character is condescending and sarcastic. its great.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I definitely don't understand Sex and the City at all, I'm right there with you.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I like and get all the stuff you mention, and guess what - I like your blog too :)
    SATC is basically a series that speaks to well- educated, single women of a certain age, it derives its appeal from the fear of women ending up alone and suffering the ups and downs of urban dating...Curiously all women I have asked identify most with Miranda, the sarcastic lawyer.
    Lord of the Rings is a classic masterpiece, though I admit fantasy is not for everyone... Try a Song of Ice and Fire.
    oh, and thanks for the pic, I had no idea you were so goodlooking ^^

    ReplyDelete
  86. DID YOU JUST SAY THAT LORD OF THE RINGS STOLE DRAGONS FROM HARRY POTTER!? Lol. =]

    The appeal of LoTR is the very unique world that Tolkien created. Tolkien essentially invented the modern fantasy genre (Seriously. Elves and dwarves were very different things before Tolkien came along). I personally don't really get the appeal of the Lord of the Rings stories either, but I understand their importance. =] Okay. //done with my nerd rant.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I agree wholeheartedly with the crime scene shows. My mom keeps trying to make me watch them and every time I do I just want to shoot myself. I just watch lame boring shows that keep me mildly entertained so I don't have to think while I paint. For example: Spongebob! Can't go wrong with him. :)

    ReplyDelete
  88. Can you please start selling Adam Roombas?

    ReplyDelete
  89. So funny, and great art work! You are so creative.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I need an Adam Roomba!

    ReplyDelete
  91. I can tell you that having a uterus doesn't necessarily guarantee that Sex and the City will appeal to you. I am the proud owner of a uterus, and that show escapes me completely. And I thought I was the only person the world who didn't get perfume! Glad it's not just me.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Anyone who posts a comment in defense of any of these items is completely missing the point.

    ReplyDelete
  93. I realize that you are being funny and sarcastic, but I am seriously horrified over the thought that some young uneducated child/teenager might think that LOTR is copying Harry Potter. To clarify that Tolkien wrote Lord of The Rings over a period of time in the 1930's and 1940's. It came well before HP.

    That being said, you are hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Adam. Watch BBC Sherlock. Like right now.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I slept halfway through Fellowship too.

    ReplyDelete
  96. The Killing is great because it's a serialized character drama. It just looks like a crime show. And yes, Downton Abbey is slow, boring, and predictable

    ReplyDelete
  97. Hahaha, awesome! I read lord of the rings really young and where as I do appreciate it I've never been a hard core fan. Lotr is a lot like the bagpipes you either love it, hate it or have never heard of it. I'm weird I guess cause I'm indifferent. As for the rest...haha, I like yogurt to a degree. I like the taste but the texture is a little off putting...that's why frozen yogurt is my choice. I've only seen one episode of sex in the city due to the urging of my friend...the feminist who read romance novels in secret...and found it to be unfothomably stupid. Even tho, I do agree sex and bruch are awesome...I'm probably less of a woman to admit this but I don't understand the shoe part...they go on my feet to protect them...feet are gross! Perfume is also gross...I got soap, shampoo and deoterant, i don't need perfume! I liked crime shows as a young teen because my parents told me not to watch them. Thankfully grew out of that. I love zoey but I agree the bangs hang in a shroud of mystery. Haha, I have to throw dinner parties because I'm one of the few in my group of strange friends who can cook. And also has food. Lol. But keep on fighting against the things people like and the things hipsters say they liked first! Nice to read your blog and see your art. ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  98. I definitely agree with The Killing being fantastic :) I went to high school with the actor who plays Jasper Ames, and I only got into it because he recommended that people watch it. The female lead is incredibly real, not like those hyped up super-people decorating most television shows nowadays. I do agree with the Sex and the City dislike. I just don't get it. My sister loves it, but I've tried watching it, and it just doesn't strike me as interesting whatsoever. Anyways, keep up the fantastic drawings and writing :) I'm always entertained ^^

    ReplyDelete
  99. LOTR movies kinda suck in my opinion, they made the scenes with sam and frodo seem really homoerotic for some reason, made the elves really effeminate as well. Books definitively better if you read "the hobbit" which came before lord of the rings and is a prequel.

    ReplyDelete
  100. I will say the books of LOTR were far superior to the movie because you can imagine your own things and don't realize how much they're walking. Unlike the movie where they're on a trek so far that there should have been a telethon collecting $$ for 'em to make Terry Fox jealous (rest his soul)

    Sex & The City - seriously Kudos to you, haven't been able to make it past more than a few episodes without having to chase my eyes down the hallway having rolled right outta my head. . . "his spunk was funky" was my line bitches, buy some originality.

    Now that I've broken down your opinions which you didn't ask for feedback on....how do you feel a bout the dramatic reenactments in Infomercials?

    ReplyDelete
  101. Banh Mi = Fucking delicious.

    ReplyDelete
  102. I completely agree. I'm pretty sure we should be friends.

    However, I think you should have just said Zooey Deschanel instead of the horrible, now trendy, bangs. I would not be surprised if it turned out that she's an alien. She'll be eating our brains within three years.

    ReplyDelete
  103. well.. hi! i only have one thing to comment about: i think you have completely misanderstood lord of the rings.. its really a beautiful story. i know many people dont like it but you should really give the books a try! by the way they were written in the '50s so i dont think copying from rowling is an issue.. well thats about it.. great job! one of the best internet comic makers :)

    ReplyDelete
  104. While I do agree that Lord of the Rings is overrated, I just want to point out that Lord of the Rings was written many years before Harry Potter was.

    ReplyDelete
  105. I'm an illustrator and I have watched every fictional crime show as well as those true crime documentaries on Netflix while I work. I'd be embarrassed if anyone saw my recently watched list. I swear, I'm working the whole time!

    ReplyDelete
  106. Lord of the Rings was written well before Harry Pott. Please do not compare the two.

    ReplyDelete
  107. I was dying at the yogurt one. I realized I too get that excited over yogurt. It's just awesome, I can't explain it

    ReplyDelete
  108. I almost couldn't contain myself when I read the number describing how you eat your food. One day you have to go to a delicious dinner party... where there is plenty of food.

    ReplyDelete
  109. GAWD I hate tapas. Good call. They tell you that tapas are all fancy and delicious, but if you actually go to Spain and try to eat tapas, they sit you down, make you cough up 30 euros and then feed you tiny portions of whatever they happen to feel like making. If I wanted that, I'd actually go home on the nights my sister is cooking, and I'd get it for free. Shabazzle.

    ReplyDelete
  110. The only reason anyone likes Sex and the City (uterus or no) is because they have bad taste. End of story.

    ReplyDelete
  111. This made me laugh so hard xD The dinner party bit, I thought, was hilarious xD Don't agree with the LotR bit, but hey, doesn't matter. And I don't like tapas either. Dirty tapas.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I watched locked up on discovery channel
    I don't understand why a lot of the African Americans on that show have nazi tattoos
    I pretty sure Hitler was againt all race other then white including blacks

    ReplyDelete
  113. can you do a story on the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you?

    ReplyDelete
  114. I added herbs enlargement exercises are uncomplicated, prosperous to do and painless!

    It is NOT going away is: does Male Enhancement very do work?
    All they thirst all over 13 000 men acquire the confidence they feature dreamed approximately since pubescence through and through a larger, more than
    substantial phallus. Number 1 doughnut the towel out, so starting at
    the foot, enwrap your testicles and phallus all, have it on on that point benefits of this merchandise are unexcelled and uncomparable.
    You can jerk off before your after cases for hours
    at a sentence.
    Feel free to visit my website homepage

    ReplyDelete
  115. It is very to send free sms through these bulk text messaging websites where you can market your products, services or products.
    Would you like to suffer from self-consciousness and body-image issues.
    Computers and the student loan efforts of a start-up
    business, but it should be sustainable. When you're experiencing hair loss as a result of a cardiovascular event. The phone survey of 2, 000 gallons of water a day.

    my blog :: The Student Loan People

    ReplyDelete
  116. You had me at Sex in the city (30 year old female.. NO CLUE as to why that show is important) lost me at Halo. (30 year old female.. in. love. with Halo.) I have to admit that I have a Halo tattoo (Emile from Reach on my thigh), and no.. not sure why I love it, but I guess it goes to it just being the first videogame that I played and beat all on my own. Well, Halo:Reach. Late bloomer with the gameing thing.

    ReplyDelete
  117. I have Zooey's bangs, therefore know what they hide.
    Wanna know what they hide?

    A GIANT-ASS oily forhead.

    *floats away*

    ReplyDelete
  118. As for yogurt someone (Mary Roach?) explained that advertising is so good that it can not only make people eat yucky stuff, it can convince them they like it. Also, there was a story a while back where a tribe of people who lived to be very old ate a lot of yogurt. It was later debunked (in that culture, age is respected, so people lie about their age, saying they're older than they are). Think I found that on Cecil Adams' The Straight Dope. As for Zooey's bangs: http://9gag.com/gag/a9bQMoL

    ReplyDelete
  119. Yes, YES, The Killing is a good crime show. Glad you found it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  120. I was just read your article that was really superb got much pleasure to read that post. please keep sharing post like that.thanks for share with us for this post.good bye.www.scottishpoet.co.uk |

    www.stresscall.co.uk |

    www.bedbreakfast-miltonkeynes.co.uk |

    www.sylvanenvironmental.co.uk |

    www.watchmead.co.uk |

    www.whatiwantwhenidie.co.uk |

    www.mediajingles.co.uk |

    www.lsw-ltd.co.uk |

    www.billysollox.co.uk |

    www.theburkegroup.co.uk |

    ReplyDelete
  121. http://www.shophandbagsonline.com/
    http://www.bestcustomsonline.com/
    http://www.nike-jordanshoes.com/
    http://www.ralphlaurentshirts.com/
    http://www.burberry-factory.com/
    http://www.kate-spades.com/
    http://www.barbour-factory.com/
    http://www.coachlosangeles.com/
    http://www.official-coachoutlet.com/
    http://www.louisvuittonas.com/
    http://www.burberryoutlet2014.com/
    http://www.official-mkoutlet.com/
    http://www.official-pradaoutlet.com/
    http://www.beatsbydreoutlet.net/
    http://www.michaelkorsonlineusa.com/
    http://www.northsclearance.com/
    http://www.abercrombiee.com/
    http://www.ralph-laurens.com/
    http://www.guccishoes-uk.com/
    http://www.michael-korsusa.net/
    http://www.polo-outlets.com/
    http://www.hermes-outletonline.com/
    http://www.ralphslauren.co.uk/
    http://www.marcjacobsonsale.com/
    http://www.mcmworldwides.com/
    http://www.warmbootssale.com/
    http://www.salongchamppairs.com/
    http://www.canada-gooser.com/
    http://www.michaelkors.so/
    http://www.oakley-sunglassoutlet.com/
    http://www.north-faceoutlets.net/
    http://www.moncler-clearance.com/
    http://www.woolrich-clearance.com/
    http://www.barbour-jacketsoutlet.com/
    http://www.moncler-jacketsoutletonline.com/
    http://www.monsterbeatsbydres.net/
    http://www.lv-guccishoesfactory.com/
    http://www.clothes-mall.com/
    http://www.coach-factorysoutlet.com/
    http://www.coach-blackfriday2014.com/
    http://www.coach-clearance.com/
    http://www.coach.mischristmas.com/
    http://www.coachccoachoutlet.com/
    http://www.coach-factories.net/
    http://www.coach-pursesoutlets.com/
    http://www.coachoutletstates.com/
    http://www.zxcoachoutlet.com/
    http://www.mischristmas.com/
    http://www.misblackfriday.com/
    http://www.newoutletonlinemall.com/
    http://www.ralphlaurenepolo.com/
    http://michaelkorsoutlet.mischristmas.com/
    http://mcmbackpack.mischristmas.com/
    http://monsterbeats.mischristmas.com/
    http://northfaceoutlet.mischristmas.com/
    http://mk.misblackfriday.com/
    http://coachoutlet.misblackfriday.com/
    http://coachfactory.misblackfriday.com/
    http://uggaustralia.misblackfriday.com/
    http://coachpurses.misblackfriday.com/
    http://coachusa.misblackfriday.com/
    http://coach.misblackfriday.com/
    http://michaelkorss.misblackfriday.com/
    http://michaelkors.misblackfriday.com/
    http://airmax.misblackfriday.com/
    http://michael-kors.misblackfriday.com/
    https://twitter.com/CoachOutlet2014
    https://www.facebook.com/coachoutletstoreonline
    https://www.facebook.com/ralphlaurenoutletonline

    ReplyDelete