Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Forever Alone

I have a tendency to sabotage my interpersonal relationships, many before they even start. Perhaps it's my own insecurities rising to the surface, but I can't help but wonder if people have ulterior motives when they interact with me.

Location: The Sushi Bar
Scenario: A pretty girl sits next to me and starts chatting me up.
Conclusion: Obviously, she's a hooker.

game01

Location: The Clurb
Scenario: A pretty girl with an accent starts groovin' next to me.
Conclusion: She must need a green card.

game02

Location: The Duck Pond
Scenario: While feeding my expired bread to the ducks, a cute hipster girl approaches me.
Conclusion: She's probably homeless.

game03

game04

game05

game06

Man, I really need to step up my game.

72 comments:

  1. Awww, hahaha. I do this in general with people I meet in class. Making up stories is fun...and self-destructive...:|

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  2. hahahah i do thew exact same thing
    awesome comic

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  3. No, but i Just... Silence!
    // Eats bread //
    Love it XD

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  4. Love the dead rat at the Sushi Bar

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  5. Sir Digby Chicken CaeserJuly 12, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    I can relate, any guy that tries to talk to me is either psychotic or socially awkward and has no friends, great comic :D C'est genial!

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  6. last two frames are so cute!

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  7. Awww! Stop being so paranoid, friend! Some of these women probably talk to you because they LIKE you! :) But don't stop writing these. Seriously.

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  8. I may or may not have been the girl @ the sushi bar... 8/

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  9. Come on. Admit it. This blog regularly gets you laid.

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  10. I would hope you never eat at the sushi place that serves dead rats... unless of course they wash them first! That's a form of sashimi, right? ;D

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  11. I always think that guy staring at me want to kidnap me and when they talk to me I somehow manage to mess it up with my awkwardness :/

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  12. Ahhh haha. So true. I've moved on to any girl that says "Hi" to me, they're going to steal my soul *sigh*

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  13. And any girl that leaves nice comments must be after all your genius ideas and will shamelessly steal them if you ever let her get close enough? This made me laugh and nod with appreciation and understanding. Cheers!

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  14. I would totally still hit on you if you gave me bread, I love bread.

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  15. why are you so fantastic!?

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  16. I want to have your babies. They would be mix children, gorgeous and artistically gifted. I'm free this Thursday.

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  17. This is all too familiar. I usually think any guy hitting on me wants an introduction to my friend/sister.

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  18. Bro, if I lived in Portland or you lived in Seattle, I would so blatantly hit on you there would be no way for you to get any other ideas about what I might be after.

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  19. you cartoons are so awesome. i love the hipster one.

    love, little.

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  20. Wow. You have appreciation for yourself if you really relate to the world like this. Also, slightly misogynistic.Comedic but worrying. Get that fixed mate.

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  21. Man you get hit on a lot, are the girls quite aggressively flirtatious where you live? I'd be too shy to approach anyone unless merrily drunk, and knowing how you interpret such advances you would know instantly that I was not of sound mind.

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  22. Oh Adam, they all want to bang you- repeatedly.

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  23. You could actually save your bread from expiring if you put it in the fridge.
    So y'know, you don't have to feed the ducks anymore.
    Or homeless women.

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  24. It's nice to know I'm not the only utterly neurotic human being in the world.

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  25. Nice to see someone as paranoid as I am when it comes to random encounters with the opposite sex.

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  26. Silly Adam. You've got it completely the wrong way round! You should have given the green card to the hooker, the bread to the latina girl and the loose change to the hipster in exchange for sex!

    I mean, if you're getting it that cheap, you don't need to have clean clothes.

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    Replies
    1. you do realize that the text in the speech bubble was french, not spanish?

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  27. haha it's so good to know that I'm not alone a/b stuff like this. I always think that guys who hit on me are either have some creepy secret.

    & if I weren't so awkward/neurotic I would totally hit on u.

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  28. Sounds like you fucking hate women. Good luck.

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  29. I agree with whereever I saw it above, I really can't see you not gettin it on from this blog. Funny, talented, and I'm sure you're cute in person...I just can't see you not getting propositioned repetitevely and then not taking anyone up on it...

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  30. Hahaha, and she actually eats the bread xD You just made my day, thank you. :)

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  31. feeding bread to ducks is actually incredibly bad for them; it cut their 8-10 year lifespans down to about 2 years, and is the cause of swimmer's itch.
    in case you needed something else to kick yourself about. :b

    to anyone who says "then why do they eat it?!":
    For the same reason that kittens drink anti-freeze, and toddlers eat toxic houseplants.

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  32. I love both of the faces in that last picture. It's effin' perfect. Like, "These ducks are fucking LOVING THIS." and poor little starving hipster girl sadly nommin' expired bread.

    I'd give her change >:

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  33. Lita and the boys in MelbourneJuly 13, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Oh, play to the crowd, Adam, play to the crowd. Self-confidence needed a boost? You're funny. Get some therapy or maybe trust a little you can always run away later.

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  34. I'm upset at this one. It made me realize that my sushi bar isn't authentic because it doesn't serve rats!

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  35. This is why I am constantly checking for new posts. Thanks for the laughs after a long day of work!

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  36. That last slide is so true xP.

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  37. Adam Ellis writes a damn good blog-thinger. I venture to say he is a modern day hero for intelligent, cultured, good-looking (modestly averts eyes) twentywhatever-year-olds such as myself because he reminds us that we're allowed to have a sense of humor about being "the future," or whatever it is that college professors and jowly white-haired men tell us we are. He even quarter-inspired me to write my own damn good blog-thinger! www.brettannlalli.blogspot.com

    I say quarter-inspired it because the inspiration breakdown was as follows:
    25% Adam Ellis
    25% School out of session/unemployment
    25% lack of other channels for human to human interaction
    25% crippling fear of lifelong anonymity

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  38. Haha, I suppose that's better than me. I'm usually completely oblivious to the fact that somebody is jonsing for me.

    Then to make matters worse I say enough foolishly ambiguous things so they've got one idea and I've got another.

    Then it culminates in a case of stalker with a crush or a crowning moment of awkward when I end up on what is believed to be a date by the other party.

    I am a fool, and possibly a whore.
    But life is interesting, when I'm paying enough damn attention.

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  39. So basically... everywhere you go, girls hit on you.

    I see through your posts, adam.

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  40. feeding bread to hipsters cuts down their lifespans

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  41. Gotta know: Your knowledge of french or did you look it up?

    "*thrust thrust*" Made me giggle.

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  42. Hot chick falling down..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1vnB2fd930

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  43. Mmmm...cold plated rat...

    Fabulous, as usual!

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  44. Seeing as how women in general scare you so much, maybe you should try to date a guy? It could be a nice change? ( I write this with assumption, that everyone is basically bisexual whether they like it or not:))

    Ps - I love your blog so much, you have no idea..yours truly, UK fan:)

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  45. Yeah....cute guy who is socially awkward. I feel so bad for you. Dork.

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  46. Your female fanbase would like to request photos of your pretty face. Or at least, this particular member of your female fanbase, anyway. *grabby hands* Gimme.

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  47. Haha, love this post. I also have to overanalyse everything and sometimes I just can't let things go.

    www.linefromalyric.blogspot.com

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  48. I do the same thing. "Someone couldn't possibly be interacting with me out of a willingness to simply interact. There's something deeper here, and I'm not willing to be in on it."

    Yep, way to over think it.

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  49. on a completely unrelated note...i envy your luscious eyebrows (which you choose not to illustrate in their massive glory). also, it is a cruel shame that we never had the chance to meet whilst i was living in the land of port last year, cause i suspect that you would have made a strange and wonderfully neurotic friend :)

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  50. Lets be fair. Would anyone refuse free bread?

    I'm never disappointed in this blog.

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  51. Ive been reading your comics for months now and I found it hilarious/ awesome that I just stumbled upon it :)

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  52. I do the same exact thing! Except... Mine's a little more crazy XD haha. I love the comics. From another portlander to another, you're amazing :)

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  53. Oh man, i do this a lot too. That's bad, i end up loosing the opportunity to get in touch with some nice girls. lol

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  54. HA! "The Clurb." LOVE THAT! Subtle and hilarious. You are the best, dude!

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  55. if you do ths on a regular basis then this should not be funny to you, you are a dubmass.

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  56. You do know that illegal aliens and non permanent residents (people without green card or citizenship) do have to file taxes.

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  57. So how much was the hooker? And did you eat her sushi lol...

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  58. Haha I love this! Those situations are hilarious. Although I do this sometimes too!

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  59. I definitely do this with guys. If a guy smiles at me, I assume it's because he's pitying me and how ridiculous I look.

    Also:
    Panel 1. The spaces behind both of the girl's arms aren't filled in with grey.

    I'M SORRY I CAN'T HELP IT D8





    P.S.
    THRUST.

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  60. jesus, for awhile I suspected Adam was gay....*pokerface*

    hope your luck with women improves!

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  61. i totally would have gone with the hippie chick (as long as she wasnt homeless)

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  62. Have you ever noticed that you don't ever draw eyebrows? I feel like eyebrows are important.

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  63. Pretty girls going out of their way to chat to you? My heart bleeds for you!

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  64. This post is really disappointing. Not because it is not well written or well drawn, but because it is way too hetero. I don't know why, but I always imagined you were gay. :( Don't worry, I will still love you, regardless of who you love! But hey, if you aren't having any luck with the ladies, maybe you should investigate other choices...


    <333

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