Location: The Sushi Bar
Scenario: A pretty girl sits next to me and starts chatting me up.
Conclusion: Obviously, she's a hooker.
Location: The Clurb
Scenario: A pretty girl with an accent starts groovin' next to me.
Conclusion: She must need a green card.
Location: The Duck Pond
Scenario: While feeding my expired bread to the ducks, a cute hipster girl approaches me.
Conclusion: She's probably homeless.
Man, I really need to step up my game.