Monday, March 14, 2011

And Then That Happened

Last night I was walking home from the gym when someone hurled something heavy at me from the shadows.

coconutlady01

coconutlady02

It was a coconut.

A homeless woman emerged from the dark. She had leaves in her hair and a spacey look in her eyes. Besides assaulting me with tropical fruit, she seemed harmless.

coconutlady03

She paused for a moment, as if trying to recall the answer. Then, suddenly, she blurted out a response.

coconutlady04

coconutlady05

And with that, she bounded off into the night.

coconut06

93 comments:

  1. hahahahahaha. i knew someone in high school that would swear to you up and down that Tupac was alive!

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  2. this reminds me of things i used to do with my bff in high school... :)

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  3. There's a homeless woman here in Sheffield who just stares at this same building all day. I don't even think she eats or sleeps. Just stares at the same building. For eternity.

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  4. This is why I don't like Homeless people. You can't tell by looking at them which ones are crazy and which ones will just let you mind your own business. I hope you didn't suffer any permanent damage from being coconuted.

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  5. make the 2nd panel a shirt! i'd buy that ish.

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  6. The coconut looks like a bowling ball.

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  7. Oh my God, I'm laughing so hard.

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  8. Every reason I live in Portland is in this comic.

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  9. I once had a random guy approach me asking for money so he could buy formula for his kid. Then he looked real sad and told me he lied and he was going to buy alcohol. I told it was cool, I only gave him $3. After that we engaged in a conversation about alien abduction and tomato soup with cheese coming out of his nipples while on a plane. I think I kind of miss him.

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  10. Awesome!! Tupac IS alive. He and Elvis both used to work at the 7-11 that used to be nearby until they turned it into a Little Caesar's. I miss Tupac.

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  11. I have to stop reading this at work, I think this is the second time I've busted up laughing in a quiet room.

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  12. At first I thought it was a bowling ball.

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  13. She is probably telling you the truth as she knows it.

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  14. i swear that shit only happens to you hahahahahahahhahaha

    i think i just peed my pants laughing

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  15. Adah B said...
    "I have to stop reading this at work, I think this is the second time I've busted up laughing in a quiet room. "

    HAHAHAHA! OMG, me too! XD

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  16. Homeless people, You got to love them! Or they will throw coconuts at your head!

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  17. Ohhhh...Portland. I live downtown and can attest to the fact that this is not a strange event.

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  18. I think I enjoy these short stories of quirky encounters that happen once in a lifetime the most. Toooooo funny =]

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  19. "I wrote this song a long time ago, a real long time ago!"

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  20. With every new entry, it gets funnier then the one prior! Great work man!

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  21. Hahah we have this one homeless lady who goes around with a plastic bag full of bread crumbs and just feeds pigeons all day. ALL. DAY.

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  22. I'm glad you're not hurt. When I was living in South Florida, I learned that it's actually possible to die if a coconut falls on your head.

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  23. How many homeless people do you encounter on a regular basis..? It seems like a worrying amount.
    I have only ever met one hobo... his name was Ziggy, he liked to give out oranges. Nobody ever took them, but it was nice.
    ... Anyway, this post was funny, and the pictures of Lady Tupac really filled my brain's need for... Tupac-worshipping-homeless-ladies.

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  24. rolf, just found you blog, looking forward to more mis-adventures...


    ps. we HAVE a Calico cat like your Lola...For two years she lived in the Attic and only can down to eat and I hope use the litter box... at least it wsa used frequently...

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  25. I live in Toronto and once a homeless man grabbed my arms and yelled "Look at me now Satan! LOOK AT ME NOW" and then ran away...I'm glad he didn't have a coconut too

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  26. Caaaaalifornia loveeee! lol the way i imagine this is the actual song coming out of her mouth as she prances away into the night

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  27. Once had a beet sail out of a passing car and smack me in the forehead. By the time I tracked down the offending vegetable, couldn't help but laugh... I'd been a victim of a drive by beet to the head. Swear to FSM.

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  28. lol if she had said something about monty python that would have been awesome!!

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  29. Love your stuff, its about time for an update!

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  30. I've been longing for an update and this is awesome. Glad to see your back and well rested, getting hit with coconuts in Portland. Well done sir, well done.

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  31. I'm pretty sure I love you.

    :'D

    Getting hit with coconuts sounds like a nice event to interrupt your night. :D

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  32. lollll!!!!!
    love this, i'm so glad i 'stumbled upon' it!!

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  33. Only in Portland would something like this happen...

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  34. XD Oh dear.
    Once a homeless guy in Soho square came up to me, grabbed me, and shook me by the shoulders for about five minutes shouting "SHE MUST HAVE HER FREEDOM! SHE MUST BE FREED!". Then he let me go and wandered off, quite calmly. Ho hum.

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  35. Is this a Lion King reference?

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  36. And as I read the crazed woman's final words while running off, the intro popped into my head as if she was singing them. Hysteria multiplied to the tenth degree!

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  37. You have a very, very odd life.

    Like, I thought my life was weird because I see strangers singing on the bus and my cat snores. But your life is proper weird.

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  38. don't u hate it when people "drop" their coconuts on ur FACE!

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  39. Once my friend was in the city. Two dudes were brutally fighting, and blood was drawn. They were bashing eachother horribly. My friend and a small croud of other watch, not entirely sure what to do. Then a homeless man wearing a My little pony, friendship is magic shirt jumps out and breaks up the fight by pulling one guy off the other, holding them apart, and screaming something along the lines of "PEACE MUST PREVAIL ON EARTH" or "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET ALONG" or prehaps he said "FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC." I have no exact memory if he in fact screamed something. It is a very good possibility that he just pulled them apart. Anyway, he breaks up the fight and my friend goes over to him and gives him a knuckle-punch, and then a hug. After the hug she could feel grime and dirt and germs on her, but it was worth it. After that, he did a reverse crab walk back into his hobo cave. Best. Hobo. Ever

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  40. GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
    ARTHUR: We found them.
    GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
    ARTHUR: What do you mean?
    GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
    ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
    or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
    strangers to our land.
    GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
    ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
    GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
    ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
    GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
    question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound
    coconut.

    Favorite part of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. :)

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